There’s another reason why most people don’t finish the Stylelife Challenge – it works. Over the past few weeks I’ve started seeing someone. As of right now, I’m at a point where, while it’s still new, I can’t really be putting full effort into these missions for the “Rules of the Game”.

What’s interesting is that I don’t feel like I really “gamed” her. She’s someone I know through my social circle rather that some random girl I approached at a bar. However, I think it was the fun I was having, and the confidence I gained, from this project that allowed me to go after what I wanted and act on things. But it wasn’t a chase. One “non-date” lead to another, that lead to a real date, that lead to more, which lead to more and more. It was, in a word, natural.

My plan is to have fun with this girl and see where it goes. I’m going to be very careful about getting into another LTR too quickly though. But we have something right now that’s really cool and fulfilling. Should things change, I plan to pick up right where I left off with this project. Thanks to my great readers and followers, especially those of you in NYC, LA, and Canada.

To be continued…

My advice is to let that picture grow. Let it become detailed. Don’t feel guilty about being selfish here. Dating is not like hiring an employee. It’s okay to be sexist, racist and ageist, and any other -ist you chose. It’s okay to want travel, money, humor, curves, height, artistic merit, and large… ahem, body-parts.

I thought it fit in well with my project. So I sat down and created my list:

My Ideal Woman

• Smiling and happy, cute girl-next-door type
• But, with seductive, sexy, come-hither brown eyes
• Quirky, dry sense of humor, but feisty too
• Stylish dresser with a bit of an edge
• Small, shiny nose-piercing
• 24-29 years old (I want to plan her 30th b-day party)
• Dark hair
• 5’6″-5’9″
• Tight body with perky, Lululemon-hugged lower half. Chest size is not flat but not huge, just normal. Fitness is a priority.
• Artsy/unique job, like yoga instructor or interior decorator
• College-educated
• Traveled. Someone equally comfortable traveling to some world city like Paris or Tokyo to go shopping and eating out as she would be renting a car and driving around fishing villages in New England or hillside towns in Italy.
• Not a picky eater, instead, the opposite. Someone who’s not just open to, but actively seeks trying all sorts of things.
• She should have a hobby she’s good at and excited about. It can be anything, volleyball, glee club, rocketry, arm-wrestling, whatever.
• Would choose a savory snack over a sweet one

I had a long blog post about how I thought this list was impossible, that this woman does not exist. But before I posted it, I met “Girl #1” during my previous mission. It was weird, right after I articulated what I wanted. She hit an astonishing number of the above criteria. It was during our interaction that I began to notice this and thus the emotional letdown I experienced when I otherwise should have been on top of the world.

Even though I was close, I still remain unsold whether or not being this specific is a good idea. Because I really doubt the exact above girl is out there. Or if she is, then she’s unavailable. Also, different people bring out different parts of ourselves. Who’s to say we know who fits us best?

Women make mistakes too...but don't make them angry

The first is a list of 14 relationship mistakes women make and it couldn’t be any more accurate. Especially…

4. Displacing. Freud was right with this one. If we’re mad at him because he ate our tasty restaurant leftovers out of the fridge, tell him we’re mad at him because he ate our tasty restaurant leftovers out of the fridge. Don’t turn it into a commitment issue.

5. Expecting too much. Putting so much energy into the idea of a fairy-tale romance that we’re disappointed with anything less.

10. Using the silent treatment. Our partners can’t read our minds; he won’t know what’s wrong unless we sack up and tell him.

And then there was a link to 5 Things Single Women Can’t Resist. These sound intuitive. I’m going to take note:

1.) Eye Contact: We’re aware of how basic this sounds. Almost in the same league as “say hello” but we cannot stress enough how often this simple social pleasantry is butchered. If you’re new to this, start out slow, look in our eyes—not at the girl walking up the steps behind us.

2.) A Nice Scent: Please approach cologne like you would flattery. Laying it on thick seems tacky and don’t go for cheap and obvious. A light spritz is all it takes to let us know you’ve entered our space.

3.) The International Signal For ‘Back Off:’ We suddenly have to pee. We text and a friend appears. We scoot away, mentioning a purse, bag, bartender, ATM, a slice of pizza that needs to be found/retrieved/eaten. We want to leave. And we’re trying to be polite. Please take the hint. Thanks.

4.) An Attentive Ear: We want to know all about why you think Obama’s healthcare plan sucks, your musical gripes with the Arctic Monkeys, and how your neighborhood has the best Thai in the whole city. Really. We do. But if we’re rattling on about the epiphany we had while backpacking through Greece, PIPE DOWN AND LISTEN. Refer to #1. Wait for a pause, another beat for good measure, and then politely work in your opinions about hostels in Amsterdam.

5.) A Big-Boy Accessory: Spending a month’s pay on a gold medallion isn’t going to charm the pants off us. But never underestimate the brownie points you’ll earn when we surreptitiously notice a nice, understated watch. Or pair of shoes, a slick jacket or a nifty haircut. Just a sprinkling to let us know you’ve progressed beyond backwards baseball caps and basketball jerseys.