Mission 9 Complete!
Posted by Devo in Mission 09, Missions on January 10, 2010
Mission 9 is now complete. Again, the mission was to approach two sets of mixed groups. Groups of three or more that contain both men and women. I feel like with each completion the screen should flash and I hear a bell and then a voice, like James Earl Jones, saying “Mission passed”. I’ve probably played too many video games.
My approaches were detailed in a previous post: Mission 9 Field Test Approaches
On a side note, the author states that 19/20 people who begin the Stylelife Challenge do not finish it. And the majority quit on Mission 9. I think that could be for a few reasons.
First, it was difficult. Just when I was starting to feel like I was making progress approaching women, I had to approach MEN and women. But another reason people quit at mission 9 is that those first 8 missions might be enough for many people. I know that if I lived in the same city as the girl from my airport fling, we’d likely be dating. Simply being social, engaging, groomed, with good posture makes a HUGE difference alone. Despite my progress, I’m not quitting; I’m sticking with it…this is fun.
So while this was my least favorite mission so far it was, however, during this mission that I had the most success outside of the missions. There was my airport fling along with another undocumented make-out session with gym class girl. (applause)
Mission grade: B
My approaches, for this mission specifically, went nowhere (Grade: C). But my extracurricular activities made this whole project worth the effort (Grade: A). That averages out to a B.
Next up, Mission 10.
My Holiday Airport Mini-Romance
Posted by Devo in Tips/Tricks/Notes on January 2, 2010
While not specifically part of my “missions” I attribute the following story to this project. I approached a girl, got caught up in it, and made something happen. It all started Christmas Eve.
Christmas Eve day at the Minneapolis Airport…
(I’d just landed in Minneapolis at 6:30 am. I had been up for about 24 hours and was quite out of it. I was waiting at the light rail train platform to take me to downtown when I noticed a tall, slender girl with strawberry blonde hair and big cute eyes. Something about her made her easy to approach. First, she was nearby, but something about her body language gave a signal. I just say the first thing on my mind…)
Me: How often do these trains arrive?
Her: Oh, usually about every 10 minutes. I think it’s slower because of the holiday.
Me: Oh, makes sense. So where are you headed today?
Her: Seattle.
Me: Oh really? I just came from there.
Her: Really? Do you live there?
Me: Yeah, just visiting MN for the holidays. Do you live here?
Her: I’m living here for my fellowship but I’m from Seattle.
Me: So we’re swapping cities. I’m Devo, by the way.
Her: Hi, I’m Jessica (not her real name, fyi)
(Then we chat about Seattle and Mpls, smile, etc. There’s something here, it’s easy between us. The train eventually arrives and we chat on the train until the next stop.)
Her: (looks at me like she’s waiting for something) This is my stop. It was really nice to meet you.
Me: (Oh no, now what…do something! Get her number! Do I have a pen? Do I give her my business card? There’s no time!) Yeah, nice to meet you too. Have a nice time in Seattle.
Her: Thanks… (smiles, gets off train)
Me: (I’m kicking myself. Arrrrrggggghhhh! You can’t miss opportunities like this. Tired, out of it, whatever. It doesn’t matter what the excuse, it’s still an opportunity missed. I mean, that was romantic. A chance encounter on Christmas Eve on the train platform as we fly to each other’s cities. I’m an idiot! I should know better by now! Doh doh doh!)
Later, at home…
(On the Dec. 26th I’m at home. I think back to my brief exchange on the train. I know her first name, her school, and her department. It’s not enough to look her up online anywhere. But I think there was something there betweem us. I should do SOMETHING. I find her department’s website and email them…
To: Her School
From: Devo
I’m trying to reach a student named Jessica who’s now at the __________ in Minneapolis, MN. We had our conversation cut short on Christmas eve day. If you could pass along my message to her that would be great.
(Ok, I did something; I could put my mind at ease. I felt like chances were slim, the department could simply ignore that message, or they could pass it along and then she could go “This guy is crazy. DELETE.” Whatever. I’ve done all I could. It’s up to fate. But then, a couple days later, the 29th, I get an interesting email…)
To: Devo
From: Jessica
I was contacted by my school today and they forwarded your email and message. How is your holiday going? Are you still in Minnesota? Hope you survived the snow storm! I’m back in St. Paul after my short trip home.
(Well, holy crap it worked! When I saw that name pop up in my inbox I was elated! Connection re-established. Turns out I am not crazy and did, in fact, read her signals correctly. I enjoy this for a while before replying. And then I think to myself, I got this far, I may as well go for it and try see her while I’m in town. I write back…)
To: Jessica
From: Devo
I’m happy to hear from you. Surprised too…it was a shot in the dark with the school. But it turns out you’re the only Jessica grad student in the department. Anyway, you were cute and fun to talk to on the light rail. I wanted a chance to get to know you better…but your stop came quickly. And in my defense I had been up for about 24 hours so I was a bit out of it. I head back to Seattle tomorrow evening. Could you meet for a cup of coffee/tea this afternoon around 3 or 4? Or perhaps tomorrow morning around 10?
(Now we’ll find out just what we’re dealing with. Again, the chances of meeting are slim simply on a logistical level. Maybe here’s where she ignores the message or says it won’t work? I get this reply shortly after I sent my message…)
To: Devo
From: Jessica
I think I am also the only student who ventured to Minnesota for a fellowship, so it was easy for the school to track me down! I don’t get off work until 4 today and I have to work tomorrow until 4 as well. What time do you leave tomorrow? I am close to the airport, so I could meet you tomorrow afternoon around 4:15/4:30 before you head out! I understand you may be rushed tomorrow. Let me know if this is a possibility.
(I’m thrilled at this point. There’s chemistry between us, we want to see each other. It’s a testament to how quickly these things can happen. We spent maybe 10-15 minutes together on that train. That’s not long. I write back…)
To: Jessica
From: Devo
Yes, good idea on that by the way. MN in the winter. Good thinking.
I figured you probably had to work. But both today or tomorrow at 4:30 pm could work. Tonight I am meeting a few of my buddies around 6:30 but I’m open before that. Then tomorrow my flight leaves at 6:30 pm.
Hmmm…
We could do something really crazy and meet at the airport tomorrow at 4:30. There’s a Starbucks there near baggage claim. I could check in and get rid of my luggage and go downstairs for a while before going through security.
I mean, everyone agrees how fun it is to hang out at the airport, right?
(An airport for a first date?! Who does that? She did say she was close so I figured it’s within the realm of possibility. Let’s see where this goes…)
To: Devo
From: Jessica
I think tomorrow will work better with my schedule. Starbucks at 4:30 sounds good – it only makes sense given we are both Seattlites! You think it’s near baggage claim? I’m not sure exactly where it is but I’ll find it. Have fun with your friends tonight.
(Boom. Date. Now, will she show up? I’m going to be there anyway so I have nothing to lose. I then write back one more message giving her my mobile number and asking for hers. She sends it to me. I then go out with my buddies in Minneapolis and have a great time. We went to all sorts of places and talked to several women. We also drank way too much. But it was a fun New Years Eve Eve. (More on that later) Next, date time…)
At the Airport, the next day, New Years Eve…
(I check in for my flight and I send Jessica a text message letting her know I’m almost ready. She writes back that she got off work early and was there. She showed up! It’s going to happen!)
At Starbucks…
(I walk by baggage claim and then I see her on the benches. She gets up and smiles right away. She’s wearing the same coat as before. It’s a cute winter jacket.)
Me: Hi Jessica. It’s great to see you.
Her: Hi Devo. Thanks.
(Honestly, I don’t remember the specifics of this initial exchange very well. It was a bit awkward but fun too. We get drinks from Starbucks, I paid, and then we find a place to sit. We talk for about 30 minutes about random things, getting to know each other. Work, travel, music, hobbies, family, differences between MN and Seattle. Then, we get interupted…)
Service worker: Sorry guys, I need to bring carts to that closet (that we’re blocking).
Us: Oh, no problem. (We get up to move.)
Her: Should we sit here? (points at chairs)
Me: How about we take a little walk?
Her: Oh sure, you’ll be sitting on the plane.
(We start walking.)
Me: How tall are you?
Her: (Looks at me a bit oddly.) 5′ 7″…why?
Me: Just curious, it’s tough to guess. That’s a good height. I’m 5′ 12″. (One of my tests)
Her: (Gives me the cutest tilted head sideways glance. Smiles.)
Me: (She passed.)
Her: So tell me, how many girls have you picked up on the light rail before? (smiles)
Me: (chuckles) I like the light rail. I do pretty well here. I’m one for one. (smiles)
(We then walk and chat some more and eventually find some somewhat isolated benches. We sit kitty-corner from each other and chat for a bit more. I check the time. 5:15 pm. My plan to bring in the Swedish New Year is running late. I’m choking. I sum up my courage figuring that the worst that could happen is she says no and we go our seperate ways. I go for it…)
Me: This has been fun. I wish I didn’t have to leave.
Her: (sigh) Yeah, me too.
Me: So I have to catch my flight fairly soon. But first, it’s now 2010 in Sweden. I think we should kiss to bring in the new year.
(I can’t really describe the look she gave me. I think there were several emotions/reactions that went through her mind. “Is he serious?” “I’d like that” “We’re in an airport!” “This is strange”, etc. She settles on…)
Her: (smiles) Ok.
(I kiss her.)
Me: Happy New Year.
Her: Happy New Year.
(Make out. It was nice, tender. Happy 2010 Sweden indeed!)
Me: That was nice. I really, really wish I didn’t have to go.
(We both check the time.)
Her: It’s 5:15, we’re 15 minutes past Swedish New Year. (smiles) But whatever. (smiles)
Me: Come on, I’ll walk you back to the entrance.
(We walk back and talk about when we could next see eachother. It’s not good news. Months apart.)
Me: Have fun tonight.
Her: You too, have a safe flight. Don’t lose my number.
Me: I won’t. One more…
(Goodbye kiss.)
Me: Bye.
Her: Bye.
So that was that. It was easy, genuine, and random. And who knows…things would have likely continued differently had we lived in the same city. It was sad too, but at the same time, wonderful. Apparently, I’m a hopeless romantic…I miss her as I write this.
Mission 9 Overview
Posted by Devo in Mission 09, Missions on December 29, 2009
Mission 9 is another “turning point” mission. The author, Neil Strauss, claims that only 19/20 people who start actually finish all the missions. And most stop on Mission 9.
This is exactly why I’m doing this website. It’d be so much easier to quit and just let myself down. But if I quit, all the people following this story and cheering me on, would be let down as well. I want to be a doer, a finisher, a closer.
That said, Mission 9 sucks.
Mission Overview
The mission is to approach at least two sets of three or more people of groups that contain both women and men. I don’t want to do this. I’m still not comfortable approaching lone women, much less a group, with dudes. There are a few more notes in this section’s briefing that made an impact. One suggested to stay in a conversation longer than comfortable, even if you run out of things to say. I feel that I should have been doing this. A couple times I ejected a bit too early.
Review Time
Additionally, it’s time to review previous missions, doing things that were missed, or repeating things where more practice is needed.
Therefore, I also need to:
- Do the posture exercise again
- Do to vocal exercise again
- Get my hair styling at my re-scheduled appointment
- Get my clothes tailored
- Get a manicure/pedicure
Lastly, the author writes in the book that the following missions are going to “pick up the pace”. I should be pleased about this considering my grades on the past few missions. We’ll see.
Review Time
If you’re a first-timer, or want to share this site with a friend, this post will catch you up with this project and my progress so far.
My name is Devo. I am doing the 30 missions from Neil Strauss’ “Stylelife Challenge” with the goal of attracting the women of my dreams. I write about each mission. Learn about me, or just jump right in. Here are the missions in chronological order:
- Mission 1: Overview, Field Test, Updates: 1, 2, 3, 4, Conclusion
- Mission 2: Overview, Field Test: Part 1, Field Test: Part 2, Conclusion
- Mission 3: Overview, Field Test, Conclusion
- Mission 4: Overview, Field Test, Conclusion
- Mission 5: Overview, Conclusion, and then some.
- Mission 6: Overview, Field Test and Conclusion
- Mission 7: Overview, Approach #1, Approaches #2-4, Conclusion
- Mission 8: Overview, Approach #1-2, Approach #3, Conclusion
Lastly, you can follow me on Twitter where I interact with others like me, along with professionals in the dating world. I’ve already made some great friends.
Being Specific With Your Desires
Posted by Devo in Tips/Tricks/Notes on December 23, 2009
About a week ago or so, I read an article by Wayne Elise about being specific when dating. He has a very specific list of criteria for the women he dates and claims this has helped him find those women rather than closing doors. After reading the article, specifically this section:
My advice is to let that picture grow. Let it become detailed. Don’t feel guilty about being selfish here. Dating is not like hiring an employee. It’s okay to be sexist, racist and ageist, and any other -ist you chose. It’s okay to want travel, money, humor, curves, height, artistic merit, and large… ahem, body-parts.
I thought it fit in well with my project. So I sat down and created my list:
My Ideal Woman
- Smiling and happy, cute girl-next-door type
- But, with seductive, sexy, come-hither brown eyes
- Quirky, dry sense of humor, but feisty too
- Stylish dresser with a bit of an edge
- Small, shiny nose-piercing
- 24-29 years old (I want to plan her 30th b-day party)
- Dark hair
- 5’6″-5’9″
- Tight body with perky, Lululemon-hugged lower half. Chest size is not flat but not huge, just normal. Fitness is a priority.
- Artsy/unique job, like yoga instructor or interior decorator
- College-educated
- Traveled. Someone equally comfortable traveling to some world city like Paris or Tokyo to go shopping and eating out as she would be renting a car and driving around fishing villages in New England or hillside towns in Italy.
- Not a picky eater, instead, the opposite. Someone who’s not just open to, but actively seeks trying all sorts of things.
- She should have a hobby she’s good at and excited about. It can be anything, volleyball, glee club, rocketry, arm-wrestling, whatever.
- Would choose a savory snack over a sweet one
I had a long blog post about how I thought this list was impossible, that this woman does not exist. But before I posted it, I met “Girl #1” during my previous mission. It was weird, right after I articulated what I wanted. She hit an astonishing number of the above criteria. It was during our interaction that I began to notice this and thus the emotional letdown I experienced when I otherwise should have been on top of the world.
Even though I was close, I still remain unsold whether or not being this specific is a good idea. Because I really doubt the exact above girl is out there. Or if she is, then she’s unavailable. Also, different people bring out different parts of ourselves. Who’s to say we know who fits us best?
