Mission 6 Overview, Field Test, and Summary

Devo — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 07:31:40 +0000

Sit back and relax, this is a long one. Due to my schedule, I had to combine mission 6 into one post. But it’s a good one. We’re past waxing cars and painting fences.

Overview
Mission 6 is all about overcoming AA. Approach anxiety. Before I get into the mission, my take on approach anxiety is that it is something that I will never not have. My goal is to find a way to manage it. As the author Neil Strauss says, “it’s less a fear of approaching than a fear of rejection”.

The book has a briefing that is probably worth the price of the book alone. It goes into theories about personality that affect attitude. Specifically, the limiting mind vs. the freedom mind. It’s several pages that hit home. I strongly suggest reading it.

Field Test
The field test for this mission is to compliment four women. Two can be people you know, two need to be strangers. We’re to avoid general compliments such as “You’re beautiful” or anything sexual such as “You’re hot”. I ended up going for extra credit and doing five, one person I know and four strangers.

Compliment #1: My Hot 23 Year-Old Friend
(For this one I am going to add in a little translation during the conversation just to add a little flavor to it. I don’t always think like this.)
Me: Hey, nice new shirt.
(Translation: You’re so hot. You should leave your boyfriend.)
Her: Thanks! They just got them in at the Gap.
Me: Yeah, it’s kinda cowboy but urban. Cool.
(Translation: Seriously, let’s go to a meeting room and lock the door.)
Her: And look at my boots too. (lifts leg)
Me: Oh nice, the whole outfit really works. Stylish.
(I want it scattered around my floor.)
Her: Thank you! You’ve always had good taste. So, blah blah blah??
Me: Blah blah blah…
(We chat a while about the weekend and remain clothed.)

Compliment #2: Japanese Tourist
(She was alone taking a photo of the Christmas tree in front of Nordstrom at the Grove in LA)
Me: Nice photo, do you want to be in it?
Her: Oh, huh? Oh yes, that nice.
Me: Ok, cool.
Her: Here. Push right here. (smiles)
Me: Ok, right there. Perfect. Smile! (click)
Her: Thank you! (begins to walk away)
Me: Wait a second, check it to see if it’s any good.
Her: (she checks it out for a moment) Yes, very nice.
Me: Oh yeah, that’s cute. So are you a tourist?
Her: Yes, I from Japan.
Me: Oh nice, well have a great trip!
Her: Yes, thank you once again.

Compliment #3: Nordstrom Sales Girl at the Grove in LA
Me: Hi.
Her: Hi, are you looking for anything special today?
Me: No, not really. Just browsing. Hey, that’s a cool nose ring.
Her: Oh, thanks. Yeah, I’ve had it for years but sometimes my friends still say “hey, did you just get that?” I tell them no I’ve had it for about two years now!
Me: You pull it off well, I don’t think a piercing would work for me.
Her: You should get one in the middle of the bottom lip. I think those are cool. Everyone has it to the side but I think it’s cool in the middle.
Me: (Hell no!) Huh, interesting suggestion, I’ll think about it. Have a nice day!
Her: You too, bye.

Compliment #4: Another Sales Girl in LA
Me: (Walking by) Hi, nice nose ring. (smiles)
(Yes, “nice nose ring” is my new line. Apparently I like a slightly rocker chick look. Nobody said it had to be a different compliment.)
Her: Oh…thanks.
Me: Yeah, I like the little subtle sparkle.
Her: Yeah, it’s just a little bling. So what are you shopping for today?
Me: Oh nothing really, just enjoying the weather.
Her: Are you looking for sunglasses?
Me: Not really. Blah blah blah.
Her: Blah blah blah.

(It gets a little fuzzy here but we chat about these things, she sits me down and gives me glasses to try on. Then later on…)

Me: So you have a lovely accent, where are you from?
Her: Guess.
Me: Um…Italy?
Her: No, close though.
Me: Holland? Her: No. Me: Spain? Her: Nope, keep going! Me: Croatia? Estonia?
Her: No!
Me: (touching her arm slightly) You realize I have the continent memorized, I will get it eventually.
Her: (laughs) You were close before, France.
Me: Oh. You must have lived here a while.
Her: Yeah, 2 years now. Are you from here?
Me: No, I’m from Seattle.
Her: Oh Seattle is nice. I’ve been there.
(I’m seated and notice her legs bumping into mine as she arranges things.)
Me: Yeah, there’s a lot I like about it. Where did you go?
Her: Blah blah blah.
Me: Blah blah blah

(Ok, there’s a big section of missing conversation in my head here. We were chatting about random Seattle/LA/things, my travel plans, etc)

Her: It’s too bad you’re leaving today.
Me: Yeah, tell me about it. I try come back frequently.
Her: When are you coming back next?
(Ok, I’m an idiot with women but I’m not COMPLETELY daft. We’ve had touching/laughing/smiling…this is a sure thing.)
Me: I’m not sure, but we should grab a cup of coffee or something. What’s the best way to get a hold of you?
Her: Here’s my number. (writes it down on a receipt I had)
Me: Thanks, is this a mobile phone? (she nods) I’ll send you hourly text messages.
Her: (Laughs)

Can I get a “fuck yeah!”? Seriously. If you’re reading this, say it out loud: “Fuck yeah Devo!” Because we’re in this together. And this one’s worth celebrating. Say it right now. Anyway, back to the story, we chat a bit more and I tell her I should head to the airport. And then she hugged me. Woo! Felt pretty good after this one. She was cute but wore a TON of makeup. Not exactly what I’m looking for but whatever. I’d probably call her if I was actually going to LA again, that was a bit of untruth. Regardless, go me.

Compliment #5: Airport girl
(While waiting for my flight back to Seattle, a young woman sits on the floor next to me. I have my luggage spread across the bench. I forgot to hit the record button in my brain so there are a lot of holes, but I have the highlights at least.)

Me: Hi. Here, you can sit on a chair, I’m hogging the whole bench.
Her: Oh, that’s sweet. But I’m ok on the floor, been sitting for 12 hours.
Me: Oh yeah? Where’d you come from?
Her: Australia, heading back home.
Me: Australia, wow. Where’s home?
Her: Seattle.
Me: Oh, we must be on the same flight.

(We both go back to our phones for a while.)

Her: Gah! This stupid keyboard. (on some Blackberry or something)
Me: Oh, yeah. You know they make those in iPhone versions (pointing to my iPhone).
Her: Yeah, yeah, you iPhone people. So smug (winks).
Me: Oh, so you’re one of THOSE eh? Trust me, you’ll be switching to an iPhone shortly.
Her: (She said something clever and witty here that I was NOT expecting. I just can’t remember.)
Me: (laughs) So where in Seattle do you live?
Her: I live in ____________ near ____________ and I work in __________.
Me: Oh yeah? I used to live right around the corner. Where do you work?
Her: It’s called ___________.
Me: No way?! I worked there for many years.
Her: Oh yeah? Blah blah blah?

(We chat about that place a while. Joking about things. Also found that we have some commonalities with our backgrounds and friends.)

Me: So how about you, what were you doing in Australia?
Her: Blah blah blah!
Me: You’re remarkably coherent considering you just got off a 14 hour plane ride? I’d be dead by now.
Her: You should see me normally.

(She tells me about her trip adventures and it sounded fun. Good story teller. She then says something about needing to arrange her ride. I don’t know why I did what I next did.)

Me: Do you want a ride? My friend is picking me up and we’ll be going right by where you live, it’s totally on the way.
Her:That’s so nice! You sure you’re friend is ok with that?
Me: Oh yeah, I’m very charitable with his generousity. He’ll be fine.
Her: Wow, thank you! So what were you doing in LA?
Me: I was hanging out with friends in Palm Springs and LA. It was a blast.
Her: What you guys do?
Me: Mostly we ______. And partied a bit as well. Palm Springs is funny. It’s 40% retirees and 40% gay men. I got hit on a lot.
Her: (laughs) Maybe you should switch teams?
Me: Yeah, I guess so. It would be easy. (smiles) I did spend today doing manly things like shopping in Beverly Hills and having salad for lunch. The testosterone was oozing from me.
Her: (laughs) A woman likes a guy who can take care of himself.
Her: So let me get your number to thank you for the ride.

(Screeeeeech! Hold on, what’s happening here? I hear this and I think back to my phone mission where you give people any reason, even if it doesn’t make sense, and they cooperate. And of course, what do I do next?)

Me: Sure, it’s 206-XXX-XXXX. (She enters it in her phone and complains about the keypad again.) iPhone (wink).

(My phone then goes off…she sent a funny text message introducing herself again. Is she gaming me? We then continue chatting a while. Nothing like waiting for a plane to inspire conversation. Next, she asks this…)

Her: Do you want to go for a drink while we wait?

(I don’t know if you’re keeping track here folks but I’m getting signals she might be interested in me. Ya know, the whole phone number, texting, and asking for a date on the spot.)

Me: Let’s do it.

(We then go to a restaurant in the airport and order some food and drinks. Blah blah blah. It was fun. I thought the conversation went well. Then before we left…)

Her: I think our plane started boarding 10 minutes ago. But this was fun with you. (smiles with eye contact)
Me: Yeah, it was. Blah blah.

(We chat a bit more and then go board the plane. I send a text joking about the plane and she plays along. Flight goes well enough and we get our bags. We meet my friend outside and have a fun conversation in the car with everyone. We drop her off and I get her luggage from the trunk.)

Her: Thank you SO much for the ride. You guys rock.
My friend: You’re welcome, I think I’ll let Devo walk from here.
Her: (laughs) It was nice to meet you. (they shake hands)
Me: (Going to shake hands) Yeah, nice to meet you. Say hi to ____ at work.

(She then hugs me and says.)

Her: Great to meet you Devo, I will call you next week about ______ (something we talked about).
Me: Cool, good night!

(My friend and I get back in the car.)

My friend: Dude, she’s way into you.
Me: I know.
My friend: What are you going to do?
Me: I don’t know.

(She then sends another text saying how we rock for giving a ride and includes her email address asking me to email her.)

Field Test Summary
Now I’m not one to brag and keep track but whatever. After being in a LTR, it’s been YEARS since I’ve been doing this stuff. And back then I was just a student when things are totally different anyway. So I’m allowed a little celebration of the fact that I got TWO numbers, TWO hugs, and a DATE in a single afternoon. These field tests are getting juicier. And obviously, it’s generating results already. I’m liking these confidence building activities as they are doing the job. Mission 7 is next and I have a hunch it’s a big one.

Mission grade: A-

What’s the minus for? Even though it’s not part of the mission, I didn’t do the suggested “get blown off” suggestion. That’s still on my list. But wouldn’t you agree that I completed the rest quite well?

Mission 6 Preview

Devo — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 07:34:00 +0000

I don’t have time for a full overview of Mission 6. But it’s about approach anxiety. This is definitely something I have. Sure I’ve beaten it in some situations, but certainly not all. Not most in fact.

Therefore, after reading the briefing, I’m going to try to get “blown out” to practice the “Crash and Burn Strategy”. I’m going to approach and engage in whatever situation in an attempt to get totally rejected. The key note they make in the book is that the initial comment or question shouldn’t be rude or hostile. I can do that in an attempt to get blown out…especially in the land of 10′s, Los Angeles, where I will be tomorrow.

Wish me unluck.

UPDATE: I STILL have not done this. There were plenty of hot women in LA who would have likely brushed me off but I have chickened out up to this point. I won’t make excuses. This is a problem area for me.

Getting Some Game » Mission 06

Mission 6 Overview, Field Test, and Summary

Mission 6 Preview