CONVERSATION 5 – Elevator neighbor couple

(5:00 pm on Halloween, heading to the gym)

Me: Hi. I’m going as a gym rat this year. (smirks)
Her: Ha! We’re no better. (points to them dressed in regular clothes)
Me: Do you live in the building?
Him: Yep, been here since June.
Me: It’s a great building. People seem nice here.
Her: Yes, they do! How long have you lived here?
Me: Just moved in recently!
Her: (They get off at different floor) Happy Halloween!
Me: You too!

Well they certainly seemed nice. Overall, I think I did well in this first mission. At least I did exactly what the book asked me to do. Though I definitely took note of a few concerns.

1. I should probably start asking their names and introducing myself.
2. I need to go to places to meet strangers that is not my elevator.
3. I’m sure we’ll get to this in the book because it’s, well, the point: I’d like to meet more attractive females instead of dudes and couples. I’m patient.

Mission grade: A-

The minus is because so many of these took place in the elevator. Nevertheless, it’s time for mission 2.

P.S. This was Halloween weekend and I went out to a club. I met some new friends, chatted very briefly with some attractive and non-attractive females, and had some drinks as well. The women were polite but didn’t stick around. Though it was impossible to hear much less have a conversation. I also danced akwardly with a few girls as well. Spun one Asian babe which was fun. Again, didn’t stick around though. But whatever, these wheels are rusty. It was a fun night that ended in a weird garage party in Belltown.

CONVERSATION 4 – Elevator neighbor girl

(6:00 pm in building elevator. Girl using an iPhone with a cracked screen.)

(She gets off at her floor.)

So that went well. I’m not nervous when I’m not attracted. But it’s not like she was ready to do me in the elevator right then and there anyway. I might be getting ahead of myself. The purpose of this mission is simply to talk to strangers. That’s it. Ok, one more to go…

CONVERSATION 3 – The chubby checker

(5:45 pm at the grocery store checkout)

Him: Hello.
Me: Hey, how’s it going?
Him: Good, you?
Me: Just fine, hungry though.
Him: You came to the right place!
Me: (chuckles) Yeah, good stuff here.
Him: Ooh, I have to do it, can I see your ID?
Me: Ha! Sure thing. (hand over my ID)
Him: Sorry.
Me: No problem, it happens all the time.
Him: Well you look young?
Me: Yeah, that and I drink a lot too.
Him: (laughs) I get carded too. I can’t grow facial hair.
Me: (laughs neverously)
Him: Yeah, see this stubble? That’s two days of not shaving.
Me: Uh, looks normal to me.
Him: I never got the puberty gene.
Me: Oh, well, maybe it’ll arrive next week. Thanks! (takes bags and leaves)

Technically this counts for the mission, but I was forced to interact with him as part of a transaction. I think I need more practice talking to just anyone anywhere.

CONVERSATION 2 – Grocery store deli girl

(11:30 am at grocery store sandwich counter)

Me: Hi.
Her: Here’s ya go.
Me: Did you use the lettuce I like?
Her: Uh…
Me: The green lettuce. (smiles)
Her: (Pause) Yeah, I think your lettuce is green…ha ha ha! (laughs).
Me: Great, thanks! (walks away)

So just reading that it sounds like things went well I guess. But I FELT uncomfortable. First thing that popped in my mind was that she laughed to be polite. But now looking back, I think she was amused. Actually, this feels like a girl who I should be able to have. I mean, I’m higher value right? Here I am in my nice shirt and slacks work clothes and she’s working a deli counter. Oh well, I’m not going to read too much into things just yet.

CONVERSATION 1 – Old man in the elevator

(8:00 am in my building’s elevator)

Me: Off to work eh?
Old guy: (Laughs) As a matter of fact I am. But I don’t have to work much these days. I have a pretty good old man job. Just 6 hours a month!
Me: I gotta get a gig like that. Have a nice afternoon!
Old guy: You too!

That was easy…he was eager to talk. I bet most people are when asked about themselves. Also, I don’t know why I said afternoon. Afternoon is 4 hours away. I think people, old people especially, actually crave talking to new people. Maybe especially so here in culturally chilly city of Seattle.

The first field test is all about small talk. Here are the rules:

• Make small talk with 5 strangers
• Simply start a conversation with no intent other than filling the silence
• The conversation doesn’t have to progress beyond my comment and a response, any response.

Ok, all I have to do is talk to people. I’m imaging that, with 30 missions, they get much more difficult. But this should be good. I do this anyway. But I will still do this specifically for the mission and report back.

1. HOW PEOPLE CURRENTLY PERCEIVE ME
They think I am nice, quiet, friendly, smart. Some say funny. Others say “dork” in fun, I think. I am comfortable to be around. Never had a problem making women feel comfortable. But I don’t know if this is necessarily a good thing. We’ll see.

2. HOW I’D LIKE TO BE PERCEIVED
I’d like for my friends and family to think of me the same way as they do now; I like myself. But I’d like for new people to want to be around me and include me in things. I want to be perceived as fun, cool, exciting, etc. I want girls pursue ME. And I want to pursue them more so than I have. And I would love it to be natural for me.

3. BEHAVIORS/CHARACTERISTICS TO CHANGE
I’d like to not get so nervous and uncomfortable in any situations. Bars/clubs/restaurants/etc. I want to be able to talk louder and break the ice with people. I don’t want to blush and mumble.

4. NEW BEHAVIORS/CHARACTERISTICS TO ADOPT
Live the moment, go for what I want, talk and not care. Not get embarrassed!

Chains that bind
The next step of the mission is to read the section, The Chains That Bind. You’ll have to get the book for the full briefing but it is mostly about dispelling false assumptions about people’s perceptions, female attraction, and ability. My best take from this: “Don’t mistake being fearful and weak-minded for being nice”. Good advice.

Next up, the first field test.