Part of Makeover Weekend was a night out in the bars with Maria The Date Coach “wingwomaning” me. Now I wasn’t totally clear about how this would work but she had a plan. I went with it. She was going to use an opener about my new shirt (that I felt might be too tight).
I hesitate to do this, but to properly imagine the below interactions, it helps to know what I was wearing. Here is a photo of me wearing my new blazer, my tight t-shirt, and my best jeans. It wasn’t just girls that reacted to this outfit. One dude dressed as Santa noticed the lion print and gave me a supportive, “Rarrrrr!” with a claw hand. Funny.
Anyway, we hit two places in Belltown. Personally, I’m a bit jaded on the Seattle bar scene. It seriously seems to be about 75% male. Maybe I’m going to the wrong places? But with that said, it made these small victories seem all the greater…
Shirt Opener #1
(This was pretty much the first interaction of the evening. We just got in and got drinks. People were wandering by and within 2 minutes, Maria interjected with a short and slender girl with short dark hair and a dress with exposed shoulders. She looked like Rachel Bilson’s sister.)
Maria: Hello, that’s a nice dress, where did you get it?
Her: Thank you! It’s blah blah blah.
Maria: Blah blah blah.
Her: Blah blah blah.
Maria: This is my friend Devo.
Her: Nice to meet you, I’m Rachel. (No relation with Rachel Bilson.)
Me: Hi.
Maria: So what do you think? I bought him this new shirt. He thinks its too tight.
Rachel: (Places hand on my chest, gently strokes it)
Rachel: I like it.
Rachel: (Begins to slowly pull my blazer, touching my left shoulder it as she moves it. It slides down my arm slowly.)
Me: (…)
Rachel: (Moving to the other side, she slowly pulls my jacket down my right shoulder.)
Maria: (eyes widen, mouth opens)
(Seriously, this is hot. Some parts of my brain are turning off, others on.)
Rachel: (Moves her hand down my chest, to my rib cage.)
(I’m in a trance. Have your way with me.)
Maria: (Slowly steps a few feet away. She’s letting us interact on our own.)
Rachel: It’s not too tight all. (smiles while still toching me)
Rachel: (Then lifts up my shirt above my belt a bit.)
(I’m no longer processing what’s happening. I’m in the moment. She probably could have stripped me naked in the middle of the packed nightclub and I would have been oblivious to all else. But as soon as it started, it ended. We exchanged a few words, her friends came, and the shuffle continued. If this blog were fictional, it certainly would have ended differently.)
Shirt Opener #2
As you’ll read in other posts, I interacted with a fair number of women this night. The details for a few are fuzzy in my memory. But Maria used this same comment on another girl who touched me as well. She didn’t get to second base like the other one did but still touched the shirt in a similar way. Maria was right. I LOVE THIS SHIRT.
Maria’s famous advice, “Wear something to make women want to touch you”. YES!
