Mission 5‘s style change is an absolutely critical aspect of this overall project. And last weekend’s Makeover Weekend was my full effort attempt to embrace this. In retrospect, my style was about where I thought I was – not bad, but not as good as I could be. I’m getting rid of the old, starting some new habits, and improving my style. I feel I look good now. I not only talked to a lot of women in a highly competitive environment, but approached them cold. Any impartial judge can’t review that poorly. I’m becoming more attractive. Period.
And that’s what it’s about: Progress.
I would have loved a number, a date, a kiss, whatever. But that’s not how I should judge things. Prior to this weekend, I was not approaching women, cold, without any excuse. I did that this weekend, 3 times, in singles bars. That’s TOUGH. That’s not something I have experience/practice with after being in a LTR for so many years. I’ve Mission 8, and already I can see I need more than just an “opener”. Sure, that got me interacting, but then what? I hit a wall a few times. I’m going to experiment. Perhaps another would lead more naturally into conversation or other interaction? Maria suggested “What do you think of those leather bracelets that men wear? Is that sexy or gay?” and the Stylelife Challenge has a few like “Do you believe in spells” that can carry a conversation into other types interactions if executed well. I’m also developing my own that I will put to the test.
And finally, just to remind myself that although I’ve made significant progress, I still have a ways to go, I’ll end this post with the most overt sexual interaction I had all weekend…
(To kill some time before bringing Maria to the airport, we hop into a bar between downtown Seattle and Capital Hill. Maria and I had just ordered drinks. A big, muscled-out, frat-boy looking dude looks over at us.)
Dude: Hi…(mumbles something)
(We look over.)
Me: Hmmm…excuse me?
Dude: You’re cute.
(Oh great…he’s talking to me, not Maria. Here we go again…)
Me: Oh, thanks. (I begin to turn away.)
Dude: What’s your names?
Me: Uh, I’m Devo. (shakes hands)
Maria: Hi, I’m Maria. (shakes hands)
Dude: (To me) My name is _____. Are you gay or straight?
(Not again!! Gahhhhh!)
Me: (smiles) Ha! I’m straight.
Dude: (Contemplated this for a moment) That’s too bad. How about being gay for just one night?
(Seriously?! Come on gay guys. Learn from us straight guys and get some game. This is not going to work. Try open indirectly, “So I gotta go meet my friend, but I need a male opinion on something…”)
Me: Ha! No, thanks though.
Dude: Are you sure you’re not gay?
Me: Yeah, I’m sure. I’m a straight guy. I’m just not very good at it.
Maria: Ha! That’s funny…you should write that.
(Done!)
Dude: Do you have a blond brother?
(He continued hitting on me and I’m not sure I ever convinced him otherwise. But Maria and I actually had a nice time with this group of people in the bar at 4 pm on a Sunday afternoon. Also, perhaps I should learn something my pursuer? Rejection didn’t phase him. I get a no and I am done. Not this guy. And that’s a TOUGH sell.
Summary
Overall, success followed me this weekend. I personally thank Maria for her help. Now I’m stylish, with better habits, and feel good about my new direction. I can pamper myslef, take care of my skin, smell good, and look cool. I would recommend her to other single males in my situation. She’s brutally honest and does not beat around the bush. And that’s what us guys need. Subtle suggestion doesn’t work. Tell us what and tell us why. Directly. I’m feeling good about my direction; I’m on the right path. It’s going to happen for me so long as I keep going, it’s just a matter of time. I earned these grades:
Mission 5 grade: A+ (Extra credit bump)
Mission 7 grade: A
Next up: Mission 8.
