Time Out For Devo
Posted by Devo in Totally Random on February 15, 2010
I’m taking a time out from this project.
There’s another reason why most people don’t finish the Stylelife Challenge – it works. Over the past few weeks I’ve started seeing someone. As of right now, I’m at a point where, while it’s still new, I can’t really be putting full effort into these missions for the “Rules of the Game”.
What’s interesting is that I don’t feel like I really “gamed” her. She’s someone I know through my social circle rather that some random girl I approached at a bar. However, I think it was the fun I was having, and the confidence I gained, from this project that allowed me to go after what I wanted and act on things. But it wasn’t a chase. One “non-date” lead to another, that lead to a real date, that lead to more, which lead to more and more. It was, in a word, natural.
My plan is to have fun with this girl and see where it goes. I’m going to be very careful about getting into another LTR too quickly though. But we have something right now that’s really cool and fulfilling. Should things change, I plan to pick up right where I left off with this project. Thanks to my great readers and followers, especially those of you in NYC, LA, and Canada.
To be continued…
Mission 10 Complete!
Posted by Devo in Mission 10, Missions on January 25, 2010
Mission 10 was to meet three girls and use disqualification (playful comments why they are inappropriate for dating you or some other playful banter). Here are my interactions: Part 1 and Part 2.
I rocked this.
I’d have to say this has become one of my stronger points. I’m constantly using these little quips like, “We’d never work as a couple”, “Wish you were a yoga instructor”, “I’m going to hire you as my assistant”, “You just earned a gold star”, or “Settle down, who put a quarter in you?”.
I’d still say my problem is approaching women. But when I get to these playful parts, it’s fun. A blast actually.
Mission grade: B+
I’m good, but the curve is tough on this one. I know I can do even better. But I am officially 1/3 done with this project. Something tells me the best is yet to come.
Next up, Mission 11.
Mission 10 Field Test, Part 2
Posted by Devo in Mission 10, Missions on January 25, 2010
Again, Mission 10 is to meet three girls and use disqualification (playful comments why they are inappropriate for dating you). Below are two more interactions employing this technique.
Interaction 3 and 4 – Massage Therapy and Japanese Friend
(At a bar with large shared booths, My friend and I go sit down across from three girls. Girl 1 looks high maintenance, girl 2 has that spoiled/crabby brat look to her like she thinks she is hot stuff, girl 3 is cute…brunette, pleasant, girl-next-door look. I like her but she is the furthest away. One is to my left, two is in front toward the right, girl 3 is past her. My friend is getting drinks. I don’t think about it and just open my mouth…)
Me: Hi
Them: Hi, how’s it going?
Me: Good. So, who’s like, the leader, of your little group here?
Girl 2: What do you mean?
Me: Like, who decided to come here tonight?
Girl 2: None of us.
Girl 3: Yeah.
Girl 1: We’re meeting friends here.
(Gah. This was a poor choice…not the answer I was looking for.)
Me: Usually someone is in charge of small groups like this.
(I’ve now lost girl 2 and 3 who are now talking to each other and ignoring me.)
Girl 1: Not us.
Me: (Talking to Girl 1 alone now) Well, looking at you three I get the sense that she’s the jokester (pointing at girl 3), she’s the trouble-maker (points at girl 2), and you’re like the Mom of the group taking care of everyone and staying out of trouble.
Girl 1: (bursts out laughing)
Girl 1: (To friends) He says I look like the Mom of our group. It’s so TRUE! (laughs)
Girl 2 and 3: (laughs, smiles at me) That is true! (They go back to talking)
(Time out: Ok, that was going HORRIBLY until a complete 180 degree turnaround by calling her the Mom. What’s the deal here?)
Me: I’m Devo by the way.
Her: Hi, I’m Tina.
Me: So Tina, what do you do?
Her: I’m a massage therapist at _______.
(I don’t know why I didn’t use my “wish you were a yoga instructor” line; I should have but I was caught off guard by that. I guess part of me doesn’t want to say the same thing over and over again. But also, a pretty blonde massage therapist?! Wow.)
Me: Oh, that’s cool. (pause, snap out of it!) I’m a cigarette lighter repairman.
Her: (Looks at me oddly) A what?
Me: It’s very dexterous work. Tiny tools and parts. You know how expensive those things are. (wink)
Her: Oh, you’re joking! (laughs)
Me: (Pretending to talk to myself) Note to self: don’t date gullible girls.
Her: (laughs) Plus I have a boyfriend, we’re meeting here soon.
Me: Oh well then, problem solved. I’m meeting people here too.
Alas, no happy ending tonight. 
We chat politely a bit longer, her cell phone rings, her friends arrive. But strangely they arrive at the same time as my friend’s ex/current girlfriend (seriously, they are on and off all the time) along with her friend from Japan. We had to share the bench and it was a little cozy. But this made conversation quite easy. It was mostly just regular getting to know you talk. And it went well! We’re planning to meet for happy hour somewhere next week.
Evangeline Lilly of LOST
Posted by Devo in Some Inspiration on January 25, 2010
February 2nd is right around the corner so this crush is timely. Plus, Canadian women are hot and fun. Evangeline Lilly is no exception.
Mission 10 Field Test, Part 1
Posted by Devo in Mission 10, Missions on January 12, 2010
Again, Mission 10 is to meet three girls and use disqualification (playful comments why they are inappropriate for you). Below are my first two interactions employing this technique.
Interactions 1 and 2 – Cougar Attacks with Anna Faris
(I’m with my friend from Hawaii. We’re at the same bar where I had one of my most successful approaches ever. I’m starting to like this place. We’d been upstairs and we were going to have one drink at the bar downstairs before we leave to another place. We go to sit down on a long shared couch area…)
Me: Is anyone sitting here?
Woman: I’m waiting for my friend but you can move when she gets here.
Me: Ok, thanks.
(My friend and I sit down, with one woman, who looked like a Moroccan version of Rachel Weisz, to me on my left and two girls facing my friend and I on our right.)
Rachel: When you walked by I could totally tell you wanted to talk to me.
(I’m surprised she started talking to me immediately after I sit down, but luckily I can be quick-witted…)
Me: I’m going to translate that to when I walked by YOU totally wanted to talk to ME. And that’s cool.
Rachel: Ha ha ha!
(We exchange a few pleasantries about what she does, living in Seattle, and the bar we’re in. She’s flirty and I play along.)
Rachel: So do you come here a lot?
Me: “Do you come here a lot”? That’s the oldest pick-up line in the book! You gotta play it cool. (smile)
Rachel: (laughs) Right…How old are you anyway?
Me: (touching her arm lightly) A woman never tells her age.
Rachel: (grabs my arm) You’re not a woman!
Me: Well you ASSUME I’m not. But I’ll tell you this much. I’m old enough to have a good career and young enough to still have fun. How old are you?
Rachel: I have a 14 year-old kid…
Me: Oh cool, how many grandkids? (smile and wink)
Rachel: Oh fuck you! (smiles and flicks me off)
Me: Wow, a milf who swears like a sailor! You oughta do well here tonight but I better stay far away. (smiles)
(Oops, did I go out of line there? That was a BIT bold calling her a milf…)
Rachel: (Laughs, loudly) (Pause, flirtatious smile) So…have you been upstairs?
(Guess it was ok…)
Me: Yeah, it’s cool.
Rachel: What is it, like a dance floor?
Me: No. It’s a petting zoo. There’s a couple donkeys and pigs there, it’s fun.
Rachel: (laughs, loudly again) You’re funny.
Me: Thanks. (Pause) So you look somewhat fashionable, perhaps you can settle a debate my friend Andy, right here, we’re having. Is khaki, like khaki pants, a color or a fabric?
Rachel: This is what you guys talk about?
Me: Well, we were talking to these four frat guys all wearing the same pants and were wondering. This is Andy by the way.
Rachel: Nice to meet you.
Andy: Nice to meet you too, what are we talking about?
Rachel: Your friend is telling me about your khaki conversation.
Andy: (blank stare)
Rachel: I think it’s both. Perhaps you should ask them? (points at the girls on Andy’s right, they’ve been watching us, this woman has a loud laugh.)
(One girl looks like Anna Faris. Pretty, approaching gorgeous if you just count the eyes. Very sexy eyes. But trying too hard overall. Fake blond hair and WAY too much makeup.)
Me: Good idea, Andy, ask them if khaki, like khaki pants, is a color or a fabric.
Andy: (He trusts me and plays along) Hey guys, these two are asking if you think khaki is a color or a fabric?
(Anna and Friend smile and give us a tilted glance, clearly intrigued.)
Anna and Friend: Uh…what?
Me: You know, khaki like khaki pants. Is it a color or a fabric?
Anna: I think it’s a color.
Me: No, no, no. There’s all sorts of color of khaki pants. Green khaki, brown khaki, beige khaki.
Anna: Oh, you’re right. Maybe both then?
Me: Yeah, that’s what we’re leaning towards too. I’m Devo by the way. This is my friend Andy. And this is my other friend…uh, what was your name again?
Rachel: Hi, I’m Rachel.
Them: Nice to meet you.
(Andy then talks to the new girls, I continue talking with Rachel. Then Rachel’s friend arrives, we do introductions, and she updates her on what we’ve all been discussing. While she is catching up with her friend, I turn to join my friend and the new girls.)
Anna: Any more fashion questions?
Me: No, you settled the debate, thanks. (smile)
(My friend whispers to me that Anna has a boyfriend and we should go next door. I say ok, but first…)
Me: So what do you guys do besides intervening in bar room debates?
Friend: I work at an insurance company.
Anna: I’m in Marketing.
Me: Oh, that’s too bad. I was hoping you were going to say yoga instructor. Oh well, plenty of girls in here for me. (smile)
(Looks at me for a moment, then smiles and laughs. My friend starts talking to her friend. She then responds…)
Anna: Sorry to disappoint you.
Me: I’ll get by. So my buddy and I have to go meet some friends next door soon. But can I ask you some dating advice?
Anna: (smiles) Sure!
Me: So I met this girl at the Minneapolis airport. It was on a train platform, Christmas Eve. She was going to Seattle, I was going to Minneapolis, we were swapping cities.
(She is absolutely captivated. I’m shocked…though I shouldn’t be. These girls were just sitting there, doing nothing. A box of Kleenex would have been entertaining.)
Me: So we had a great conversation on the train, I think things are going well. But then, her stop comes and I don’t have time to get her phone or email or anything. I just say, “nice to meet you” and she gets off.
(She nods, I still have her.)
Me: I’m kicking myself. She was super cute and fun. But…I have her first name, school, and department. Do you think I should track her down?
Anna: Like, how?
Me: Maybe email her department and say that we got cut off and I’ll ask them to forward her my message?
Anna: Oh, yes, I think you should do that. You’ve got nothing to lose.
Me: Ok, good. I’m glad you said that…because that’s exactly what I did.
Anna: (laughs) And?!?!
Me: Settle down! (smile) So yeah, I sent a message to her school, and sure enough, a couple days later I got an email from her.
Anna: (excitedly) Ohhh! She likes you!
Me: Just wait, the story gets even better…
(At this point my friend clearly wants to go next door. We’re supposed to meet his current/ex-girlfriend and her friend. I’m going to have to talk to him about this. But if she does have a boyfriend, it’s better we go. Plus, while hot, this isn’t the type of girl I see myself with. Sure I would gladly have done who knows what with her…but for some reason, I didn’t feel like I was passing up on anything by leaving.)
Me: We’ve got to meet some friends next door, if you want to hear the rest of the story, head over there.
Anna: I’d like to but we’re meeting our boyfriends here soon.
Me: (Of course…nobody is single here…) Cool. See ya later!
Anna: Bye!
(Then I go say goodbye to Rachel as well.)
Rachel: Oh, you’re leaving?! We’re going upstairs to dance and pet the donkey.
Me: (Laughs) Yeah, we might be back later, see you around…
Overall, I’d say that went well; it was fun at least. I’m sure that Rachel was into me. But something inside said to stay away. It could have something to do with her having a 14-year-old and being a bit crazy. Just a thought. As for Anna, I got the sense that she gets a TON of interest from men as she had that look to her. But at least she was friendly. She never did show up at the other place though.
P.S. If you’re curious about the airport story I was telling, read this post.
Mission 10 Overview
Posted by Devo in Mission 10, Missions on January 11, 2010
Mission 10 brings us back on track. No more approaching dudes for mission requirements. The focus of this mission is disqualification. The goal of disqualification is to meet women and tell, in some way, them you don’t want to date them. The author, Neil Strauss, claims this is the “bedrock of flirting”.
The mission: Meet three women and use a disqualifier.
One important note on disqualification from the book:
Most disqualifiers are meant to be playful. Others are used to demonstrate that you have high standards and won’t date or sleep with just anyone. However, a disqualifier should never be hostile, critical, judgemental, or condescending. There’s a fine line between flirting and hurting. And disqualification is never intended to be mean or insulting. So say these with a smile on your face and laughter in your voice, as if you were good-naturedly picking on a younger sibling.
Some ideas for disqualifiers:
- Ask her what her favorite movie is, then respond, “You actually liked that? That’s it. I’m going home. Nice meeting you.”
- Do you have a gold medal? I only date women who’ve won a gold medal, you better hurry and get one.
- What’s the wildest, craziest thing you’ve ever done? That’s great. You and my grandma would really get along.
- A good girl like you should probably be talking to a nice boy like that one over there.
- If she touches you, hey now, hands off the merchandise. That’ll be $40.
- The book has a bunch more of these…
The author also writes, “This is going to be the most difficult mission of the challenge so far”. But I don’t think so. I think I’ve been doing this in several of my interactions so far by saying girls are the “Mom” of the group or telling them I was hoping they were a yoga instructor. I think this should go well.
Alicia Keys
Posted by Devo in Some Inspiration on January 11, 2010
I have to admit, Alicia Keys’ music is not my typical genre so I put it in the “guilty pleasure” category. But I just saw her on Saturday Night Live and those songs were cool. Plus, she’s stunning.
